Do you ever have old feelings well up inside of you that crash into your mind beginning a relentless replay?
Perhaps you thought that those memories were long forgotten; maybe not forgotten but certainly repressed. Now you feel you are hopelessly trapped again. Actually you may have never been free in the first place, for you had only suppressed and ran away from them, hoping they would disappear.
Jesus’ love for us is so powerful, how can we walk around wondering if there ever is a way out of the bondage we are in? We assume He does not see the pain, then we feel we have to cover it up.
God very often wants to go down very deep and cut out the root of our pain to the very core. One day back in my dysfunctional home in Holland I was learning to play the guitar and was making very rapid progress, until my teacher pointed out that I needed to learn to play with rhythm. My hand froze as she instructed me to keep the timing right. No matter how hard I tried, I could not play the guitar the way my teacher wanted me to. I knew instantly that there was a mental block holding me back from flowing in rhythm.
When I got home I asked the Lord what was happening in my life that was obstructing me from playing in rhythm. Instantly, Jesus took me back to a time where I saw myself trying to play the piano as a little girl. The metronome was furiously going; tick, tock, tick, tock as my father yelled at me to keep the timing. I felt fearful and inferior, as his yelling intimidated me. I can remember that I felt like screaming, but was not allowed to do so. Instantly, I knew why I was bound up with fear when it came to keeping the rhythm on my guitar. I asked the Lord to step into the vision. He did, and He gently stood beside me saying, “Darling, we can do this together, just forgive your dad and let him go. He still is your father.” Reluctantly, I spoke to my dad in my vision and forgave him for his rudeness, his lack of love and the pain he had caused me. Then I felt Jesus sit next to me on the piano bench and I heard Him sing to me: “One, two three, one, two three, we can do this.” His words penetrated into my innermost being and His love flowed hot over me. Eventually, the metronome became my friend. You guessed it…. in the next guitar class I had perfect rhythm.
My afflicted and storm-tossed friend, I hear Jesus say, “I desire to have you release your pain to Me. I am more than able to restore, repair and heal the trauma of your heart. You need never to disqualify yourself from My tender love, for I love you deeply and have already healed you by giving My life for you. You do not have to perform anything to convince Me to love you in spite of your past, for I already know all about it.”
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Drawn by God
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